NLP for Kids can be extremely helpful in strengthening and liberating a child’s mind when they are plagued by negative thoughts.
The reprogramming techniques used in NLP can empower a child and help them to interpret external situations in a much more positive way internally.
Early life experiences, even when your child is still a baby, can cause long-lasting patterns and anchors to develop which are, for the most part, run unconsciously and can cause your kid to suffer without ever being able to pinpoint the root cause of the problem.
You can use NLP for children to identify these patterns and anchors and replace them with ones that make your child feel happier, more productive & more optimistic.
What is Neuro-Linguistic Programming?
Neuro Linguistic Programming is a psychological approach to communication, personal development and psychotherapy. (Read the full explanation!)
NLP techniques are heavily focused on our modalities (the way we see, hear and feel the world) and by tweaking the submodalities (particular qualities of audio, visual and kinisthetic internal experiences) change the way we feel about anything in our life.
Changing a Childs “Map of the World”
We all have different “maps of the world” and NLP Therapy works from this basis.
One person’s interpretation of an experience might be completely different from another in the same experience.
An example could be two survivors of a plane crash.
One of them feels so lucky and blessed to be alive and vows to live life to the fullest from that day forward while the other now feels terrified and that bad luck dogs them at every turn.
Neuro Linguistic Programming can help modify a child’s “map of the world” so their focus is positioned firmly on the good instead of the bad.
We can, therefore, among other things, feel productive and positive about situations we once felt were hopeless.
Free NLP for Kids PDF
If you want a step-by-step guide for one of the techniques you can use with your child then download this NLP for Kids pdf and follow the instructions.
Why NLP for Kids works so well…
NLP works on a host of different levels such as beliefs, identity, purpose, behavior, and environment.
It really covers all the factors which contribute to how we feel about things and kids are especially great candidates for this therapy.
The amazing ability kids have to soak up information like a sponge is a fantastic quality when developing new neural pathways BUT it can also act as a double-edged sword as they are growing up.
On the one hand, it’s fantastic to learn new things & retain information but on the other hand, it also means that negative experiences and connections are also more quickly formed and can take an extremely powerful grasp on the mind if left untreated for too long.
Everyone can think of something that scares them even to this day which was the result of an event that occurred when they were children.
It could be something as simple as a scary film that left you scarred because the shock and fear factors were so huge at the time.
If this scar had been dealt with while you were still young and closer to the event you could have saved yourself many years of trauma (some of which go so far back you can’t even remember how they started).
This is why I truly feel that NLP for Children is highly recommendable!
A children’s psychologist or counselor could also be great options but what I personally love about the NLP approach to the problem is that it’s very direct.
It doesn’t take a whole lot of time and it focuses on the desired result, not the problem, which makes it easier for kids to actively participate in the positive end goal instead of dragging them through the emotional turmoil of having to analyze it all (which sometimes they are incapable of doing).
Children can suffer from a lot of different kinds of problems like an extreme lack of attention (ie; ADHD), learning disabilities, anger issues, fears and anxiety just to name a few and NLP is adept at dealing with all of them.
I’m going to delve a little deeper into one of these issues to show you how NLP can help with it.
How to deal with Fear and Anxiety in NLP for Children
Children’s fears can lead to irrational thoughts which in turn manifest as physical discomforts like stomach aches and tears and can often produce a disconnect from the actual fear that started this chain of reactions in the first place.
It could be the fear of losing their parent.
Perhaps they get dropped off for their first day of school and we all know how traumatic that can be for a child (I still remember gripping onto my mother for dear life, crying uncontrollably as the teachers dragged me into the classroom on my first day of preschool. Some things you just don’t forget huh!).
They are very aware of why they are crying at that moment and slowly but surely as the day progresses they will get over it and things will be somewhat normal.
By the time you pick them up they might even be happily playing with other children and seem to like school.
What can often happen though is that the traumatic experience of the morning is still there imprinted in their mind and connected with going to school.
So when the child wakes up the next morning knowing they will be going to school again, despite the happy ending from the previous day, they could suddenly start to feel a stomach ache coming on or their heart starts beating out of their chest.
Perhaps they aren’t even able to explain to you why but as you can see the body remembers and the link has been made, even if it’s only recognizable on a subconscious level.
The worst thing is that children who experience these things up to a point that could be considered anxiety can develop a habit of having fearful thoughts about even the most mundane things.
It’s a sad thing to have to watch your child go into a shell, lack confidence, be afraid and feel like they aren’t enough.
I had this same problem when I was a kid due to bullying at one school in particular.
I lost all the confidence I’d had before my family moved to the new town and I was scared to go to school.
I felt a really deep sense of hopelessness and remember pleading with my parents to let me stay home through a stream of tears.
A lot of parents ask the question… “How do you keep your kids away from school bullying?“
Well, in some cases it’s very hard to change the external environment but if you can change how your kid deals with the situation internally then this can help a hell of a lot!
I wish I had the following NLP techniques for me back in the days I was being bullied but at least I can now share them with any parents looking to help their own kid in a similar situation.
NLP Approach to the Problem
Meta Model questions
There are specific NLP language patterns for Kids which help to analyze situations from a much more objective viewpoint.
One of these patterns is called the Meta Model and it’s a specific line of questioning designed to analyze in depth a child’s presuppositions in their “map of the world”.
Child: “The teacher always shouts at me.”
NLP Practitioner: “ALWAYS? You mean there is never a moment when the teacher DOESN’T shout at you?”
(Read the FULL Explanation of the META MODEL)
This gets the child to re-evaluate the statements they thought were true and see the reality is a lot more manageable and a lot less exaggerated.
Getting the child to imagine the situation in their mind like an out-of-body experience. They see themselves “over there” and watch events unfolded from an objective perspective.
Child: “I can see the bully coming towards me from across the schoolyard.”
NLP Practitioner: “Ok, what I want you to do is see this event from the eyes of another child nearby who is not involved. You will see yourself “over there” from the point of view of someone else.”
This is a great way to get children to deal with a situation from an objective view without the emotional attachment and pain that can come from experiencing it from a first person perspective. It then makes finding solutions to the problem a whole lot easier!
Getting the child to take the Submodalities (specific characteristics of a visual/audio/kinesthetic) from a pleasant thought and associate the same ones with a previously negative thought (and thus replace and eliminate the negative submodalities altogether).
NLP Practitioner: “Can you remember a moment you felt very happy at school?”
Child: “Yes, at my old school.”
NLP Practitioner: “Describe the image that comes to mind.”
Child: “I can see my friends and we are playing football together.”
NLP Practitioner: “Is it a still image or in action like a movie?”
Child: “A still image.”
NLP Practitioner: “And is it bright or dark?”
Child: “It’s bright, the sun is shining.”
NLP Practitioner: “Describe how your friends look.”
Child: “They are smiling and happy.”
This dialogue would continue until all the fine details of the image are known to the NLP Therapist. This would include not just the visual aspect but also the audio and kinesthetic (feeling) aspects too.
The NLP Therapist would then take the negative image they are currently struggling with (whose submodalities would be very different from the ones described above) and guide the child through replacing the negative submodalities with the same positive submodalities from the dialogue above.
This would lead them to instantly feel at least a little better about the imagined situation they were tormented by.
NLP Anchoring for kids
This is a special gesture that is set for the child to use when they need it and gives them a boost of whichever positive feeling they have associated with the gesture.
NLP Practitioner: “Can you remember a time you felt extremely confident.”
Child: “Yes. Before my maths exam last year. I’d studied a lot and was sure I’d do well.”
NLP Practitioner: “I want you to close your eyes and imagine that situation now. When you feel the most confident, the peak moment of confidence in this memory, make an OK sign with your fingers.”
Child: “Right.” (closes eyes, imagines experience, gets to peak confidence moment and makes OK sign with fingers)
NLP Practitioner: “Now I want you to do this again.”
(this will be done several times to really set it properly)
This is truly a godsend because now it’s like the child possesses a superpower where, when they need it, they have this ace up their sleeve which can override the negative emotion with this positive feeling BOOST!
Fast Phobia Cure
If the anxiety and fear get so bad that it actually becomes a phobia then it’s time to pull out the big guns. The Fast Phobia cure does exactly that and is also used in Hypnosis to help cure people of this affliction.
NLP Practitioner: “Imagine you are standing out the front of a cinema. You can see a worker in the ticket office and you approach them. They hand you a golden ticket and you enter the cinema. You are the only one in there, you have the cinema completely to yourself. You feel safe and warm here.”
This is very much a guided session that requires no real verbal input from the child’s part. They just have to close their eyes, follow the instructions and be led throughout the process.
They are taken inside the cinema then have an out-of-body (disassociation) experience where they are in the projection booth, watching a version of themselves down in the cinema who in turn is watching another version of themselves on the big screen (double disassociation).
The film playing shows the mental movie that goes on in their head when they think about their phobia but it is manageable because not only are they doubly disassociated from the experience but the NLP Therapist also manipulates the film to run forwards and backwards very quickly and tweaks the submodalities so that the voices can sound like funny cartoon characters and silly music can play in the background etc.
All of this contributes to taking away any influence that thought once had and thus making the phobia something which no longer holds any power over the child.
As you can see NLP for Kids is a very direct, participative and positive approach to dealing with any problems your child may be having.
There are many techniques and approaches that can help children and these techniques can be used in conjunction with each other to an even greater effect.
Children have fantastic imaginations and this also makes Neuro-Linguistic Programming Therapy such a great match for them since a lot of the therapy requires the child to imagine situations in their mind.
The amount of detail that children can imagine is quite stunning and makes any mind reprogramming work done between the child and NLP Practitioner extremely effective as a result.
Further Steps You Can Take
If you want an NLP Coaching session for your child with an NLP Master Practitioner then book your session now (1-hour session price $50 USD)
However, If you would prefer to learn these skills for YOURSELF and become an internationally certified NLP Master Practitioner for your own family then read about the BEST NLP MASTER PRACTITIONER COURSE ONLINE (It’s the same one I did and I’m an absolute raving fan about it now! Worth every penny I promise!!! Plus, I give you a COUPON CODE to get a great discount.)
Thanks so much for taking the time to read my post and I wholeheartedly hope that whatever it is your child is experiencing this post helps in some way to make the situation better.
I am also the father of a beautiful little 2-year-old girl and she is my world.
She is the reason I got into NLP training in the first place and got my Master Certification from INLP.
We all just want to protect our kids, make sure they are happy and give them the best life possible.
While that’s not always possible NLP parenting can give you the tools to help in situations where there seems to be no solution.
If you want to learn more about NLP then here are some more resources:
- My free website, the one you are reading now! I suggest you START HERE
- My free Youtube Channel: NLP Keys (Lots of great tips and techniques explained)
Lots of love to you and your family